If this sounds nuts, It’s okay I am too.

I am becoming less good (grammar Nazis, do NOT get me for that) at being around people.

“I can’t keep tracking you down, we need some level of communication.” 

“Going somewhere?” 

“X is sorta mad at you, just throwing that out there.” 

I get frustrated with everything anyone says. I seem to just let things fly out of my mouth these days. Hurting people is not my goal. Neither is growing up. It’s not time yet. I don’t care what everyone says. Sure the future is bright, and the best is ahead. But, right now is shining like the sun. This day, this hour, this minute, has potential. I just…I just want to live this minute. I just want to try to do it my way this time. I’m sick of having to conform for others, but I want to please them. I finally made a decision for me this past week. I’m going back to judo. I need it, and I miss it. So I’m going back. No one made me, nothing made me, it was completely my own choice. For a few months the part of me that stands up for myself has been missing. So has judo. So back to judo. Will it complicate my schedule? Oh yeah. Will it make having a social life harder, you bet. Do I really mind? No, not really. I finally feel good about something that I have done solely on my own. With this, it is mine. I get to control how well I do, and how well it works. No one to share with, or to help organize with. I love everything I do. I really do, but it’s going to be nice to go back to something I know how to do, and do well. That is all.


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